Third Time A Charm?
by tsha3217
Summary: Was Duke really Tongo too? The castaways never noticed the likeness but then stranger things have happened on that island. Now he's back a third time and of course trouble's afoot...


**This story assumes that Duke and Tongo were the same person since both were played by Denny Miller. That Duke suffered amnesia would explain his not remembering the castaways as Tongo. Their not recognizing him is a bit of a stretch, but hey it's Gilligan's Island and strange things happen (see Giant Spiders and more). Thanks.**

Skipper was seething. BOOM! His meaty fist came down on the hut's table. That was usually Gilligan's cue to take a long walk in the jungle or a short walk to the girl's hut, but for once he was not the antagonist of Skipper's anger so he stayed put hoping to calm his big buddy.

"Don't be upset Skipper," Gilligan consoled. "It's just Duke being Duke."

Duke? Yes, that Duke! Duke Williams had returned to the island for a third time. The first time via surfboard and tsunami. The second go around, much to the castaways surprise, as Tongo the Apeman. And finally via a rudimentary motorized wind-surfing contraption to be amongst them once more in the bronzed, rippling flesh.

Almost as amazing Duke had apparently regained his memory. It was slow process that the Professor felt most likely began with the coconut to the cranium Ginger delivered to escape Tongo , but after falling flat in Hollywood he returned to Hawaii with his newfound recollections and told tale of having seen the survivors of the SS Minnow. Unfortunately so much time had passed and Duke had admittedly taken so many knocks to the noggin that no one believed him. Hence he rigged up his surfboard (with the help of an engineering student at the U. of Hawaii) and set off to prove them wrong.

"Gilligan's right," chimed the Professor, uttering a phrase very seldom heard. "It's our own fault for not preparing better before we announced the rescue plan."

No, a third tsunami was not in the offing, but Professor had found an anomaly in the tidal pattern that could get Duke and his newfangled board back to the shipping lanes. It was akin to one that had them building a raft a year earlier only to have their hopes dashed by Dr. Balinkoff and his hypnotic rings. Sending out Duke this time had two advantages: 1. He had made this trip three times already (the Professor said he must have a subconscious radar attuned to the island; Skipper thought he had a radar attuned to Ginger and Mary Ann); and 2. No Gilligan. Unfortunately there were also two disadvantages: 1. The engine that had helped Duke return had corroded beyond repair; and 2. The girls.

As Gilligan stated, channeling his best Yogi Berra, "It was like déjà vu all over again!" The girls were back to swooning over Duke and effectively blocking the rescue plan. But this time it hadn't been that easy. Recalling his wolfish ways as both Duke and Tongo the girls had given him an icy shoulder upon his return. However, after 24 hours in which he was on his best behavior, and with no other romantic prospects in the offing, the girls finally succumbed to his considerable comely charms.

"Well, there's certainly plenty of blame to go around," announced Skipper. It would appear his anger was directed at Duke and the girls, but he also subtly fixed the Professor and Gilligan with a disappointed look.

The Skipper had never been able to understand how after 3 years on the island Gilligan and the Professor had managed to be oblivious to the felicitous flirtations of Mary Ann and Ginger respectively. If Skipper had been younger and/or fitter he would've been after one or both of them like…well, himself on 24 ounce steak. Instead the Professor spent his spare time researching ferns and Gilligan was reading the same old comic books and listening to the lone album The Mosquitos left ad nauseum. If either had had the libido of so much as a 12 year old boy, Skipper thought, they wouldn't be in this position now. But as he often shook his head and mumbled, "You can't choose who you're shipwrecked with."

"Problem is the rogue tide will only be around for another 48 hours or so," lamented the Prof. "Not even enough time for us to build a proper raft. It's all on Duke unfortunately."

"Just give me one shot at him Professor…one shot and the girls'll see that half-witted Hercules isn't all he's cracked up to be," begged the Captain.

The Professor shook his head sadly. "As a man of science I can't condone violence as a solution. Besides if you were to break Duke's jaw or a rib, say, he wouldn't be able to adequately navigate the windsurfer anyway."

"I don't know Professor," began Gilligan thinking back on all the humiliations he had faced at the hands of the surfing Sampson and acting apeman. "It would sure be nice to see Duke knocked down a notch or two, especially in front of the girls."

"Wait a minute, Gilligan, you're on to something there," replied the Professor, suddenly uplifted for the first time.

"Oh, I'm sorry," responded Gilligan, rising up off his seat and looking behind him.

"Not on TOP of something!" declared the Skipper, shoving Gilligan back down into his seat. "He said 'on to something'. Meaning a good idea…uh, wait a minute Professor…on to something...Gilligan?"

"Yes," continued the Prof. "Duke is driven by his ego. If we could show him up in front of the girls they'd be less interested in him and, in turn, he'd be less interested in hanging around the island. We just need to somehow beat him at his own game."

"Well if his game is checkers I'll be happy to take him on," chimed Gilligan enthusiastically while pretending to perform a triple jump on the table. "Crown me Skipper!"

"I'm gonna crown you with my hat in two seconds if you don't shut up."

"What's wrong?"

"Two things are wrong with that offer Gilligan," Skipper began. "First checkers is hardly the kind of contest that is going to diminish Duke in the girls' eyes. Second, and most importantly, in three years here we must've played 500 games and you haven't won one yet!"

"Oh…right," replied Gilligan, once again sinking back in his chair.

The Professor attempted to steer the squabbling shipmates back toward a solution. "Skipper's right Duke's self-worth is centered round his narcissistic preoccupation with his mesomorphic superstructure."

"Yeah," added Gilligan, slightly confused…"and he really loves his muscles too."

Time was wasting and correcting Gilligan was taking up more of it than the Professor and Skipper wished. Instead they settled down to considering how they could embarrass Duke. The Skipper immediately realized the brunt of this problem was going to fall on him. It was a matter of Brawn over Brains and since the Professor only had the latter and Gilligan neither it was up to him.

The difficulty Skipper realized was that Duke had nearly twenty years on him and in his current corpulent capacity any physical endeavor that required stamina or agility would have him at an insurmountable disadvantage. Whatever contest he engaged Duke in it would have to be simple, short and decisive. Initially Skipper's mind wandered to the bamboo and boulder gym Duke had set up at the lagoon. It included Gilligan's original two boulder weight from Duke's first visit and was supplemented in recent days by 4, 6 and even 8 boulder bars Duke had constructed. A test of strength involving these would seem natural. Unfortunately training with weights was a relatively new fad. Skipper had been known to toss around the medicine ball or twirl a set of Indian Clubs with the best of 'em back in the naval base gym, but when it came to barbells Duke's familiarity and expertise would make him a heavy favorite.

Then…BOOM! Only this time Skipper's face brightened instead of twisting in anger. "I've got it Professor…arm wrestling!" Captain Grumby exalted. "I was arm wrestling champ of my battleship back in the navy."

The Professor hesitated pondering this possibility, but Gilligan seized upon the idea. "That's right. Plus we've arm wrestled dozens of times and Skipper always wins!"

"Yes, well, that's hardly a ringing endorsement," the Prof began, "but I have to say I'm intrigued. Most people view arm wrestling as merely a matter of sheer strength when in fact it's a contest that hinges on speed, technique and most importantly leverage."

"Exactly Professor and I perfected all those things in the navy," Skipper gushed. He then placed his elbow on the table and against an imaginary opponent he twisted his wrist in, rotated his shoulder and in a flash slammed the hand of his theoretical foe to the table. "I was undefeated, 72-0, and plenty of those guys were as big as or bigger than Duke."

As he was the arbiter on all rescue plans, Gilligan and Skipper looked hopefully at the Professor. After several seconds contemplation he sighed deeply and declared, "I can't think of anything better so it's worth a shot."

The Skipper sprang out of his seat announcing, "Super Professor I'll show the girls that muscle-headed moron he's nothing but a pumped-up pretty boy."

"I can't wait Skipper," Gilligan chimed in.

"OK. Gilligan you find Duke and the girls and have them meet us at the communal table in half an hour," Professor stated. "Skipper come with me back to my hut. I want to examine how you can get the optimal leverage in this contest. In addition, since I'll probably act as referee I want to go over my starter's cadence with you. If I alter the rhythm slightly you'll be able to get the jump on Duke without him realizing it."

"Fantastic Professor. I forgave him for the amnesia, but leaving us here for the sake of his supposed acting career still sticks in my craw," said Skipper tersely. "I don't just wanna beat him I wanna humiliate him."

With that the three headed out the door with their hopes as high as they'd ever been…Prior history on the island, however, indicated that was not necessarily a good thing?


End file.
